This doesn’t require much of a preamble other than saying I’m turning 26 next month and saying goodbye to the first half of my twenties so I obviously have every right to write this.
I’M MATURE NOW MOTHERTRUCKERS. BEEP BEEP.
Here’s some of the questions I’ve pondered over, and what I’ve managed to sort out in terms of answering them.
“What am I doing with my life?”
There’s no wrong answer because it’s whatever is happening in the present. It’s an… ongoing answer? Kinda underwhelming, I know, but it’s a half-decent reason to rely on your intuition because you won’t know what you were doing in the grand scheme of things until the end. Not trying to be morbid!!!!! IT’S INSPIRING OK? Go see what you can get away with.
“What do I value?”
I feel like this is hard to know the answer unless you’ve actually thought about it. Once I made a point of answering this question with a pen and paper, I found it a lot easier to actually live out my values. I highly suggest it. Also can be interesting to look back on later because your values can change over time based on life experiences.
I know now that the number one thing I value is integrity.
“How will I know if I had an orgasm?”
I legit Googled this once. I’ll put it this way – you’ll know if you DIDN’T have one. How’s that for an answer?
“Are they into me?”
If you are truly unsure, I’m gonna go with no. See advice below.
“How does XYZ person afford [insert whatever thing here]????!!?”
Ok, so to be clear, this is a rhetorical question because it’s nobodies’ business how you afford shit. Next, there are a few realistic answers:
- Debt. Maybe credit card debt.
- Support of some kind that relieves financial burdens and frees up income (perhaps from a sugar daddy who propositioned them in their Instagram DMs?).
- Responsible saving. Nobody wants to post about buying two-ply toilet paper on Instagram back to back with their photos from Fiji, but that’s the reality in some cases.
“What happened last night?”
I blacked out from drinking more than I have fingers and toes and teeth in my early 20s so I asked this a lot. Typically, I did something slutty. Or I came home at 3am and destroyed the kitchen making something to eat. Or both!
“Should I say something?”
Usually, yes. This applies to a whole bunch of situations. Have the damn conversation.
As a people pleaser and someone who has always struggled with this, I can safely say it hurts everybody involved more in the big picture when you withhold what you really want to say. Sometimes it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be, and sometimes it’s exactly as bad as you think it’s going to be. You can’t protect people from their own emotions, and you can’t control how people choose to react. All you can do is speak your truth when the time isn’t right (but don’t wait too long) and tell them whatever it is you need to say.
“Should I be saving for retirement?”
Yes, if it’s financially feasible, but also…no?
Anytime a question has a ‘should’ at the beginning I ask myself if I actually care about the answer, or if I feel like I’m *supposed* to care about the answer.
Doing certain things doesn’t make you more or less of an adult, and having an RRSP doesn’t automatically mean you have your life together.
“What should I do with my hair?”
I recently did something out of character and asked my new stylist this and he talked me out of doing something really dumb and expensive during our consultation.
Much like when a therapist tells you something is a bad idea, you LISTEN THE FRIG UP.
Sometimes in the heat of the moment we forget that bangs take approximately 9 months to grow out. Whatever you want is the answer, but it never hurts to consult an expert.
“Where do I go from here?”
This is basically another variation of “what comes next?” which is what this entire blog navigates through…arguably. In order to actually answer this question, I had to stop running away from it out of fear and accept that it was up to me to decide.
Sounds easy, but when you don’t trust yourself it kinda feels like hurling yourself off a cliff with a running start. How else are you gonna build self-trust though?????
Anyway, the answer is that I’m going to Australia. G’day mate.